Wrong values...

Categories: Wormie Says

More and more children are signing up for beauty and talent pageant [Sunday Times, Nov 6, 2005]. Some parents supported the idea because they says that it make the child to have more confidence. Some says that it is a good investment because they got one up against other kids for having learn something not so common along the way. Psychiatrist however says that putting such kids in competition at such an early age will make them too competitive and coupled with parents' expectations the agony of defeat may be too much for them to shoulder. Another psychiatrist says that such competition teach the child false values like exterior beauty being more important.

This report is timely because a few days ago the Straits Times reported on the 'New Poor' - people with rich assests but running a high debts as a consequence. Are these two phenomenon related? In my opinion yes.

If a child goes for beauty and talent pageant, one of the things they learned about is glamour. And glamour teaches the child to look good, dress well, behave and speak in a certain acceptable way, and therefore to be able to stand out from the crowd. On the surface these are good values. One must always strive to look good and dress well. If one does not dress appropriately, then it does not reflect well on oneself and may even looked out of place. Behave and speak in an acceptable way of course is good so as not to be seen as too loud and incongruous with the crowd. However such behaviour may be 'force' because beauty and talent pageant has certain set of criteria for one to be 'model' child. What this creates is a falsity in the personality which in the long run becomes pretentious. The child is not taught to be honest but to be politically correct. The child is not taught to spend within his own means, he has to look good and dress well; therefore branded things which are usually associated with such behaviour becomes a must whether you can afford or not.

Sad to say we do not need to look far for such pretentious behaviour. Years ago when I was doing medical cover for a performance by our local star, back stage their behaviour was not something to admire. They smoked like chimney, cold to the 'lesser' people and something rude. But when they are in the public eyes, the behave in a way you would expect a star to behave - obliging, smiling, cheerful. Some of those who are involved in charity drive, would show concern and care to the patient when in front of the camera but once the camera is shut off, they seemed to be another person - no longer friendly and sometimes downright rude. If this is not pretentious behaviour what is. Certainly this is not the value we want to teach our children.

If you grow up with the idea of wanting to have glamour, what would happen if you do not have the financial means of living it up? Well in Singapore there is a barage of credit cards that can be easily obtained. There is also no lack of unsecure loans to choose from. With all this 'easy money', it is easy to understand why there are so many so-called 'New Poor'. This is coupled with the fact that even in the University, students are already taking a loan! Well there is a student loan which helps students to pay for their school fees and this can make up to 50% of the course fee. In view of the relatively high school fees here in Singapore, the majority of University students here take up such loan. This loan is good in the sense that every body has an opportunity to study in University. But takes the usual agony and embarrassment that is usually associated with loan-taking. It make people immune to taking loan. Therefore when more and more loan are piling up, there is less intimidation associated with the debt than what it really should.

I do agree that such beauty and talent pageant helps to bring confidence but confidence can be nurtured in other ways. Moreover, nowadays there are so many tuition centres and other enrichment centres which have programs to inculcate confidence on the children. Not only such program cheaper, it also avoid the numerous disadvantages I described above.

Sometimes I wonder whether investing in the child in such a way is more for the parents or the child.....